Focussing on your own accomplishments instead of the achievements of others, recognising and celebrating your successes and surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people are critical to overcoming self-doubt, says Melanie Pump
All of us have periods of self-doubt. Even those you admire and look up to have moments where they question themselves and doubt their abilities. Ask your mentor or your leader and they will certainly have a story to tell of when self-doubt nearly held them back.
Early in my career, I had to fight feelings of inferiority. In fact, when I was offered my first promotion, I nearly turned it down as I felt I wasn’t good enough. My path was different from most of my peers. I worked my way up the corporate ladder from receptionist to where I am today as Chief Financial Officer. While I have come to realise that there is power in a unique journey, early on it only created intense self-doubt. I had to fight those feeling to grow my career and prove (mostly to myself) that I was as good as my peers.
However, self-doubts aren’t always negative. In fact, a sense that you need to improve can drive positive actions by pushing you to work harder, learn and grow. The key is to take steps to gain confidence as you progress and avoid the creation of permanent limiting beliefs.
The fight to overcome self-doubt is important. Otherwise, you may not apply for your dream job because you don’t believe in your abilities. You may not speak up when you have an idea because you doubt that your perspective is valuable. Or you could fall prey to a bully since you believe their negative words about you. The world could miss out on what you have to offer if you don’t boost your confidence and allow yourself to shine. Below, I’ll share steps that I have taken to overcome my feelings of self-doubt and boost my confidence.
Stop comparing yourself to others
Using other people as a barometer for our own success is not uncommon. It’s hard not to look at someone in your age group, compare your accomplishments to theirs and judge how you measure up. This has been made even easier with the availability of information on social media.
No matter what stage you are at in your career, a tour through LinkedIn will provide someone who you perceive is doing better than you. However, what you see online is only what people want you to see. You don’t know the challenges they faced to reach their current position or whether they are truly happy in their role.
The reality is that we all have our own unique path and pace. We each have different priorities and are presented with unique opportunities. To maximise your success, you must capitalise on those opportunities, which takes confidence.
My confidence was greater because I did not allow myself to be disheartened by the comparative success of others, nor did I let the achievements of someone else create self-doubt. Instead, I found inspiration in the accomplishments of my peers and I celebrated them. You will find the greatest success if you are able to do the same.
Avoid negativity
We live in a world where negativity and bad news get a lot of attention. In fact, research has shown that, in general, people are more responsive to situations or information they perceive as negative than they are to those they perceive as positive. This applies to our views of ourselves and our accomplishments. If you are prone to self-doubt, you may focus on your mistakes or perceived imperfections. This focus on the negatives will only deepen your doubt in yourself.
To boost your confidence, you must consciously fight this tendency. When you find yourself focussing on something that you did not do well, turn your mind to look broadly at your work and acknowledge that the mistakes are the minority.
Also, realise that perfection is rarely needed and aiming for it can often be a waste of time. In fact, perfect isn’t even a real measure since each of us have a different view of what perfect is. And yours is likely a higher standard than what anyone else would view of your work. No one is ever being as critical of you as you think they are, and situations are rarely as bad as your mind can build them up to be.
Celebrate the wins
Another tool in the effort to avoid negativity is celebrating wins. It is common to quickly move onto the next thing after completing a task or reaching a goal. I’m guilty of this. I barely celebrated when I finished my bachelor’s degree. I just turned my attention to the next goal of completing my accounting designation. After so much hard work, I failed to let the accomplishment sink in and missed an opportunity to increase my self-esteem. We need to stop doing this to ourselves.
There is power in truly letting your successes register in your psyche. Share them, own them, enjoy them. You will boost your confidence by acknowledging your accomplishments and recognising the effort that you put into them.
Acknowledging the wins shouldn’t be a one-time occurrence either. If you’re feeling a wave of self-doubt, stop, look back and remind yourself of what you’ve already achieved. Don’t undervalue any of it. Even the small steps can be hard and take courage. They prove that you can do it. Use these memories to lift you up when you feel challenged.
When I’m feeling self-doubt, I often look back at my career and remember how I’ve found success in multiple different industries. This reminder that I’ve proven I can learn quickly and adapt to new environments gives me a confidence boost that I can handle whatever is thrown my way.
Surround yourself with positive and supportive people
I’ve had the good fortune of working in positive, supportive work environments. But I have also had the misfortune of working in toxic ones. So, I can tell you firsthand that the environment and people that you are surrounded by are significant contributors to your personal outlook. It will be difficult to avoid negativity if your peers focus on the downside of everything or your leader only highlights mistakes and imperfections.
You will find the greatest success through positive people who support you. Keep in mind that positive doesn’t mean they will always give you compliments and make you feel good about yourself. Support includes pointing out when you are off-track or areas where you can improve. However, they will do so with good intentions and in a manner that doesn’t create self-doubt or shame.
Ideally, your group will include people who have pushed through challenges and achieved their goals. Take inspiration from them. Don’t compare yourself to them or feel threatened by them. These are people to learn from to make yourself better.
Those who can minimise self-doubt and boost their confidence will have greater success. Focussing on your own accomplishments instead of the achievements of others, recognising and celebrating your successes and surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people are critical to this endeavour. It’s worth the effort not only for career success but also for the impact on your whole life that a healthy view of yourself can have.
Melanie Pump is the CFO of You Move Me, a moving company franchisor. With more than 20 years’ experience, she has a strong background in accounting and finance, strategy, information technology and HR management.
Melanie has supported the success of companies at all stages of growth and across different sectors. Her passion is to help companies reach their full potential. This drives her to ensure teams have strong support infrastructures and cultures that allow leaders to focus on building value for customers and partners.
