Reboot your human skills

If you feel unfit and a bit heavy from not being able to go to the gym and now have some anxiety around wearing your summer clothes, then going back to the workplace or where you are interacting on a face-to-face human level, could feel the same, says Debra Stevens

During lockdown we have been socialising less, talking less and connecting with people consciously less and it may be harder for us to adapt as restrictions are lifted to get back to face to face interaction. The human skills we have may have been eroded because we haven’t used them or needed them in the same way for over a year and we can’t afford to lose our human skills.

Before the coronavirus the estimate in the UK was the predicted loss of 9 million jobs to AI and automation by 2030 and this is for both ‘blue collar’ and ‘white collar’ workers. This is now set to be accelerated as businesses look to protect themselves against future pandemics and let’s face it robots don’t get sick. Also, we are more accepting of automation now and some people even prefer it as it makes them feel safer to be served by a robot rather than a human.

But hopefully robots will make work more human, not less as they take on the boring mundane tasks and we will be free to do what humans do best. This is why standing out by being a superhuman is more important than ever before. Skills such as empathy, listening, social connection and collaboration will sit at the top of skills required alongside science and technology in the future and after lockdown it’s important to reboot these skills so you can make the most of any opportunities that are coming your way and stay ahead of your competition – other humans!

The five most important human skills

As you emerge back into society its worth looking at how you can brush up on these important human skills and most future of work reports mention the following as being the ones to prioritise on.

1. Engage: your social skills and the ability to connect authentically
2. Listen: slowing down and asking questions from a place of curiosity
3. Empathise: a genuine desire to understand someone else’s experience
4. Collaborate: build, manage and collaborate in the teams of the future
5. Inspire: storytelling, influencing, persuading and articulating your ideas

Being consciously human and mastering these skills –takes effort and commitment, but the good news is you don’t have to spend a fortune on courses as the opportunity to practice, get feedback and develop is all around you. Below are five exercises you can try to reboot your human skills and prepare yourself as well as possible as we begin to enter the next era of work.

1Develop a growth mindset –  definition of a growth mindset is – ‘Your intelligence can be developed, and challenges are welcomed because you believe it’s all about improvement. Effort is worthwhile to becoming a master of something’. Making mistakes and getting feedback is therefore positive as it promotes improvement and growth. This is important if you want to reboot your human skills, as getting feedback and reflecting is key to any sort of learning and development, but how do we do this?

• Ask for feedback – think about the feedback you want and ask for it, so for example if you do a presentation and want to know how to get more engagement from your audience, instead of asking ‘how did you think the presentation went?’ ask ‘How well do you think I engaged the audience and how do you think I could improve in this area?’ This means you get constructive, growth related feedback instead of unwanted criticism
• Use the ‘power of not yet’ in other words don’t give up, you have not mastered this, well not yet anyway.
• Step outside your comfort zone and into the fear zone and make mistakes this is where you grow and learn the most.

2Focus on your listening skills – chances are this is something that always needs a refresh, and it takes commitment, but after lock down this muscle might need a bit of flexing. Have at least one conversation everyday where you focus on your listening and be more aware, think about the following: –

• What stops you listening and makes it more challenging?
• Are you listening to respond or are you able to park your agenda?
• What takes you out of the moment are you thinking about something else and what is it?

This will help you to be more aware of when you are not present and give you a chance to bring yourself back. Make a mental note of what takes you out of the moment so you can work on that and each day choose one of these to focus on.

3Empathy can be worked on and the key thing to remember is true empathy isn’t saying ‘I understand’ it’s saying ‘I want to understand’ that’s the real meaning of empathy. Be curious about people who are different to you and ask questions so you can understand their story. The more you expose yourself to different people and experiences the more you will develop your empathy.

‘It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognise, accept, and celebrate those differences.’

Audre Lorde

4How many hours are you spending per day on your devices and is this taking over from real human engagement. Find a way to cut down and engage with humans face to face instead. Granted this is more difficult during covid restrictions but when you go to the supermarket avoid the automatic checkout  and go to a real person instead, give them some eye contact and engage with the ritualistic chit chat, or when you get a takeaway coffee do the same thing.  This is a great way to brush up those face-to-face social skills essential if you want to start new relationships.

5This is a hard one but can make a massive difference to the impact you have on others in virtual meetings. Next time you are having a meeting record yourself and then watch it back and answer the following questions

• Where are you looking? at the screen or the camera – (the camera is the eye contact not the screen)
• Are you fully present and listening or are you focused on your need to speak or distracted by something else.
• How is your screen presence, lighting, background, position and body language
• Are you clear and concise and easy to listen to?

If you feel unfit and a bit heavy from not being able to go to the gym and now have some anxiety around wearing your summer clothes, then going back to the workplace or where you are interacting on a face-to-face human level, could feel the same. You need to get human skills fit again and the only way to do that is to use them and build those communication skills muscles. So, embrace your humanness – warts and all – and get back out there!

Debra Stevens is a trainer, speaker, and the author of Stand Out: 5 key skills to advance your career, published by Pearson, priced £14.99