How to laugh at the parts of yourself that hold you back in business

Getting employees to laugh at the parts of themselves that are holding them back, takes the application of comedy and laughter in business coaching to a new level, says Brian Kaplan

Laughter is very good for everyone’s health – including business people. This is not a pie-in-the-sky claim; it is now a proven medical fact. A professor at Stanford University by the name of Bill Fry spent a quarter of a century carefully documenting the physical health benefits of laughter which I’ve summarised in this mnemonic:

S      Stress reduction shown by lowered adrenalin, noradrenalin, and cortisol

M    Muscular relaxation proved by mylography

I       Immunity increased shown by increased antibody production

L      Lungs empty themselves of old air

E      Exercise. A belly laugh is good exercise

E      Endorphins (the body’s natural high making hormones) are increased. 

We humans, unlike every other living species on the planet, have been blessed with the gift of laughter. It’s a gift because it’s not only excellent for our physical health, it’s also good for our psychological health. Before discussing how it could also be beneficial for our financial health, let’s look at how laughter not only improves our physical health but can also be incredibly healthy for our psychological health and even our spiritual health.

We feel happier when we are laughing. Has anyone ever met somebody who eschews laughter? Has anyone ever said: ‘I hate laughing. I hate it when my body is convulsing in joy and I’m breathing deeply with a huge smile on my face?’

However humour and laughter can do more than just make us feel happier for a while, it can actually help us grow, help us find solutions for the everyday problems that life throws at us and generally make us into happier people. Wherever you are on the happiness continuum, you can use humour and comedy to go higher. To do this we need to ask a very important question? What should I or can I laugh at?

The approach used by Hephzibah, my wife, and I, over the past 25 years encourages us to laugh at the parts of ourselves that are holding us back. What are these parts?

The Single Self assumption

Well, none of us is just one personality (also known as the Single Self assumption). We are composed of many sub-personalities also known as subselves or I-positions. Well-known examples of these are the ‘inner child’ and the ‘inner critic’ but there are many more. When these subselves work together well, then you function as a sensible, congruent, and happy person.

Unfortunately, we have subselves that selfishly grab the megaphone and dominate our other subselves. This has two unfortunate effects. Firstly this dominating, overloud subself seldom serves us well and secondly it also steals valuable time from other subselves. Let’s take a simple stereotypical example. A man thinks to himself that he must work all hours of the day so ‘I can support my family’.  His wife and children live in a nice house and his children go to good schools and everyone has top healthcare insurance. What his wife and children do not have is a father and a husband. By the time he realises this, it’s often too late and the kids don’t need him as much anymore and his wife, if he still has one, never really had much quality time with her husband.

So the subself that repeatedly says he must (some people call this process ‘musterbation’) keep working and make more and more money is simply too loud for his own good or that of his family. The subself that enjoys playing with his children and the one that loves intimate time with his wife, doesn’t have much say in the matter because they are dominated by the ‘I support my family’ subself.

What can we do about an overloud subself? 

If we can laugh at a domineering subself, that subself will quieten down. As Mark Twain put it: Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. This process works in all contexts but we shall now focus on how this process can specifically make you more successful in business so that you can make more money to support your family 😉

Let’s look at some of the common parts of our personality (subselves) that become over-prominent in the business setting. We have designed wearable badges (or buttons) that specifically satirise some of the common subselves we see coming to the fore in the work arena. We don’t expect you to go out and stick badges on everyone and this process is only permission-driven but sharing a few of these work subselves may be elucidating and bring to awareness how we get can get stuck in one role or mindset.

Every business is different but here are some examples of how the process may work. It is essential to remember these badges and suJESTions should be offered empathically, with smiling eyes and genuine affection for everyone. This is the Golden Rule of this approach and it can never be broken.

Likely result: Laughter and a reconsideration of life’s priorities.

Likely result: Laughter and a rethink of their attitude to work.

Likely result: Laughter and a reset of attitude.

Likely result: Laughter and a little more respect for non-geek colleagues.

Likely result: Laughter and a reassessment of one’s attitude to colleagues.

It’s vital to stress that everyone gives permission for the process. People without a sense of humour may not appreciate the process but how many people do you know admit to not having a sense of humour?  It is also essential to ensure that everyone understands that it is the subself (or part of their personality) that is being satirised, not their essential Self which is always respected.

Many businesses do employ CHOs (Chief Happiness Officers) these days – often internally appointed staff who may even take a course in laughter coaching.  This is effective for creating a team spirit, improving health and raising the mood in the office. However warmly getting employees to laugh at the parts of themselves that are holding them back, takes the application of comedy and laughter in business coaching to a new level.