Sometimes you need to be the good guy and sometimes you need to be the bad guy. However, you can always lead with kindness, as Joanna Swash explains
There’s a well-known saying, “Nice guys always finish last”, meaning that it’s a dog-eat-dog world; it applies to business, love, life, sport, and so many things besides. Just because it’s a saying we have all heard, however, doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s true.
In the Wolf of Wall Street world, those who are not concerned with anyone else will win in the short term. You can get there quicker through cheating, manipulation and using people because you won’t need them again. And, because people are generally nice themselves, you will probably get away with it. In the short term, that is.
In the long term, however, you need reputation, relationships and trust. And if you want people to trust you, you need to treat them well. I am not talking about always being ‘rainbows and bunnies’ or being nice simply for the sake of it. I am talking about a long-term, sustainable business strategy and an extremely powerful one at that.
Whilst leadership takes on many forms and definitions, there will always be room for the nice guy. It does not mean that you are a pushover, and it is not a weakness.
Here are some traits that a kind leader displays:
Nice guys focus on their people
Nice guys think about how their people want to work, what motivates them and what inspires them. They focus on who the individual is and how they can help them to become the best that they can be. They acknowledge that people have a life outside of the office, other responsibilities and embrace them as a whole. They create a safe
environment for their people to excel. And when they see that you care for them, they will go the extra mile for you. Happy people make the world go round.
In focusing on people, you are showing that you understand them, that you empathise with them and that you value them. Compassion is a key trait for any leader. Productivity will fluctuate and things will go wrong. (And, sometimes the best lessons are learned from mistakes.) But instead of pointing the finger of blame, find out why and ask how you can help.
It is about empowering your people and taking a step back, creating a sense of responsibility and trust. It is about looking after your people physically and mentally, making work a place people actually want to go.
Nice guys are clear and authentic
No one is perfect, but holding your hands up and owning a mistake is just as important as communicating and
congratulating your people for their successes. In doing so you are being authentic and open; you are demonstrating strength, courage and respect.
Nice guys lead with openness and authenticity
They appreciate that they don’t know everything – that is why they employ awesome people. They understand, listen and hear. They praise an excellent job and give credit where it’s due. And in doing so they show that they value their people and give them more confidence and connection to the role that they own.
Being open and honest in any organisation is important – as is being authentic. As a leader you should be able to share how you’re feeling and how things are going clearly without fear. It is about being clear about what you know, what you are planning and what it means for people, in a way that your audience will understand.
Nice guys walk the talk
Do what you say you are going to do and do not say one thing and do another. Don’t have one rule for one
person and another one for everyone else. Nice guys lead with purpose, they live and breathe the talk and in doing so, their people respect them and trust them more.
There is always room to be kind. Kindness is a universal human requirement and its significance is often overlooked in business and in daily life for that reason. It doesn’t cost a penny, but its effect is endless. Share your smile with one person and the ripple effect perpetuates.
One of the most important skills in any great leader’s competency kit is the ability to understand, listen and hear. This applies to all stakeholders, customers, partners, people – and the marketplace. It provides clarity, encourages openness and develops trust. Good leaders embrace the recognised benefits of a focus on softer skills.
Being kind comes from the heart. In some workplaces there is the perceived expectation that performance trumps all, so letting our defences down and showing kindness also shows vulnerability. Vulnerability, or allowing yourself to be exposed/who you are means you are authentic, real and self-aware. Sharing stories of mistakes and fears is not a weakness, it is a strength. It connects us to others, and it is what gives us purpose.
Kindness, or being nice, does not have to replace anything in your leadership toolbox; it simply adds value to what you already have there. Nice guys do not finish last. In leading with kindness, they take their team to the next level, creating a powerful, sustainable business model equipped to take on the challenges of an ever-evolving business landscape.
Joanna Swash is group CEO of Moneypenny, a provider of outsourced telephone and web-based communications
